You're on my list

i have a list
of things i
like about
you

Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

AH. It's tomorrow! It's tomorrow! Oh, gosh. I can't believe it. Time is APPARATING too fast, and I found that FLYING is too slow a word for time now. I'm going to pass my FIT IN DEUTSCH 2, the written section, with flying colours tomorrow(excluding Listening, of course. Cos my Listening sucks for all languages, even though I'm a so-called audio person.). I'm not so sure about Oral, 'cos the weird situations in the Sample Paper is freaking me out. My vocabulary is sooo limited! BAHH! I can just hope I don't fumble through my self-introduction, 'cos that'll be a real failure in Oral then. :/

Anyway, I've been rushing through and setting questions for Primary 1 and 2 revision papers today. SIGH, I really should stop procrastinating, and do my job instead of leaving everything to the last minute. Like now, these revision papers. Like tomorrow, I haven't put in much effort on revising for FIT IN DEUTSCH 2. I'm such a lazy pig. :( Now, I'm waiting for my little to arrive and do them. Aw... My poor lil' cousins. SIGH.

Disclaimer: The rest of this post is going to be pretty moody and rather offensive to the value of filial piety. If you are an old-fashioned bloke who can't stand people speaking against (or what you call backmouthing or backstabbing) their parents, please LAY OFF. If not, read at your own risk.

I'll be quitting Guitar soon, either in December, or in March. SIGH. My dad is having financial difficulties. I don't wish to whine about that, 'cos it's a hard fact that we're not well-off anyway. In fact, we live on his meagre pay of about S$2000 a month. However, why does he always FIRST think of stripping away my right to pursue my musical interests when cashflow problems arise? Why can't he be more considerate? Does it mean that just because the parent doesn't like music, the child should not learn music? In fact, I've been paying out of my own pocket for the last year of my piano lessons before I quit. Why can't he be less self-centred? Why can't he strive to change himself FIRST? Why does he insist on playing on the stock exchange? Why can't he gamble less? Why can he afford to lose by the tens of thousands on the stock market but refuse to spend a hundred or two on my music lessons? Why can't he follow what he says? Why does he always promise that he's going to quit gambling but never fulfils it? Why does he always vent his anger on my mum and I when he loses money? Why does he ask me to stop him from gambling but gives me a dressing-down when I does so? Why can't he care more for my mum? Why does he scold me when my mum worries for me but doesn't realise that he's making my mum worried for him too? Why can't he realise that my poor mama can't take stress? Why can't he realise that he is the culprit whenever my mum gets stressedup? Why does he always insist that he is right? Why can't he realise that he is in the wrong? Why does he care so much for his face? Why doesn't he allow me to apply for FAS? Why does he insist that I should pay for my own expenses, my books, my stationary, my food when he only gives my $10 a week and no pocket money during the holidays? Why does he think that it's embarassing to let people know that we are poor? So what if our relatives are filthy rich? Can we change that fact that we are poor, with a gambling habit of his? Why can't he be less da nan ren zhu yi? Why can't he spare a thought for my education? Why doesn't he realise that he is losing all the money meant for my JC and university courses???! Oh gosh, what have I done to deserve such a father? OH WHY? SIGH.

xinying ploughed through her empty list at 7:13 pm

Tried to take a picture; Of love
I wanna fill this new frame; But it's Empty

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xinying; cxy; yvette; just the crazy girl
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