You're on my list

i have a list
of things i
like about
you

Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty

when the agony doesn't halt

Monday, August 24, 2009

sunday. a day i assigned to study math AND econs. but it didn't work out the way i wanted it to. it probably turned out to be the exact opposite of what i expected. well, almost.

i slept at around 3am to do econs notes after pouring my sorrows into the bottomless well of my blog, thinking that i can sleep for, say, 12 hours? then wake up fresh and energised, rid of all negative thoughts and all ready to slog through the remainder of my unfinished work. but fate has a way of toying with people, making you look like a complete fool in front of all your aspirations and goals. i woke up at 8+ in the morning with a serious headache, as if i was having a hangover from the night before. the searing pain. it seeped through me, so hard, so ruthless, i couldn't differentiate whether it was in my head, or in my heart.

shopping at j8 was not much of a help. my mum was very much disappointed at my disinterest but i really couldn't care less. the trip went by as a blur, and i guess the only fruitful thing that came out of it was that we managed to replenish our groceries. oh well.

i entered bishan park. slowly i took a step forward on the empty tar route. then another, and another. as i jogged, a wet spot appeared on my right sleeve. then another on my hand towel, and another. and it really surprises me what i can do to myself, sometimes. faster and faster the raindrops fell. i picked up pace as the drizzle got heavier. i know not after how long, i emerged from the water curtain; my face drenched not so much from the rain, but from lacrimation.

7pm. i was here, drowning myself amidst deafening tunes of 失戀無罪. i'm dying to get completely wasted. and put my studies up on the laundry.

失戀無罪 -- A Lin
我忍住眼淚我尊重眼淚

孤獨萬歲失戀悲伤無罪!
誰保證一覺醒來有人陪
我對於人性早有預備還不算太黑

一個人崩潰並不是在犯罪

无重力 -- Wilber Pan
画面不动了情歌不唱了
爱情的重播键明明一直按着
什么原因让时间停了
在伤心的尽头被停格

电梯不动了爱也停止了
可是坠入的感觉怎么还在呢
热闹的街道还在狂欢着
为何我却孤单飘浮着

无重力腾空慢慢跌入无尽的黑洞
没知觉的伤痛飘荡的心却摔得更重了

我爱你你爱我是不是还不够
我不懂为什么付出的全落空
粉身碎骨的我不受控制的手
还能抓住什么

我爱你你爱我算不算是承诺
全世界都沉默没声音的嘶吼
无重力爱坠落最缓慢的折磨
只剩遍体鳞伤的我撑到最后

我不難過 -- Stephanie Sun
我不难过　这不算什么
只是为什么眼泪会流　我也不懂

就让我走　让我开始享受自由　
回憶很多　你的影子也会充滿我生活
我並不懦弱　你比谁都懂　
虽然寂寞　这会是我　最后的寬容

i'm finding it much easier to blog about previous days. it's like it's so far away but the memories remain so clear, i need to get it off my chest.

xinying ploughed through her empty list at 11:01 pm

Tried to take a picture; Of love
I wanna fill this new frame; But it's Empty

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xinying; cxy; yvette; just the crazy girl
17
~~marymount~~
~~scgs~~
hwa chong
09s7j
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obsessed about singing
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Would you smile; and say "I told you so"?

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Trying too hard; Maybe we're torn apart

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