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Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty

all parents damage their children

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

i just read the five people you meet in heaven recently. i really agree with some of the issues that were brought up (:

"All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair."

well, i guess very few in singapore experience the damage of neglect and violence like eddie did. but the denial of affection is very real. most parents don't realise it. they love their children, probably much more dearly than their love for their spouses or even themselves. but they won't show it. often, children's achievements are brushed aside and left unmentioned. sometimes, they are met with disapproving glances and grunts. worse still, when they nag. but the child isn't heartless. he is exasperated at their expressed disappointment. he is thirsty for their approval, though he covers up with a disdainful apathy. like his parents, he doesn't want to show any sign of "weakness", and it drives both parent and child nuts.

the "you know i love you" understanding isn't sufficient. it just doesn't pay to be stingy with praises. exclaim "i'm proud of you!" when you need to. it's not excessive. if you feel that way, say it (:

xinying ploughed through her empty list at 11:48 pm

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I wanna fill this new frame; But it's Empty

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