You're on my list

i have a list
of things i
like about
you

Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty

the world's changing, i'm still the same

Sunday, December 27, 2009

4 days to 2010! (: but well, i'm not here to make my new year resolutions. that can come later. what i want to emphasise is that: yes, the year is drawing to a close. but what struck me most isn't how fast it has past, but how much i've learnt and experienced within such a short period of time.

it's not an easy journey, i must admit. roller coasters, peaks and dips in life; it's an emotional amusement park that i don't wanna set foot on again. of course, that is not for me to say, but i'll enjoy myself while i can. and when the inevitable comes, i'll keep my fingers crossed and hope i'll get to choose a less treacherous ride? (:

as the old saying goes: 经一事，长一智。yes, we grow with experiences, learn to be wiser from past mistakes. but do these experiences and follies really change us? i'm proud to say that they haven't done so to me. "the world's changing, i'm still the same" is a title i cheaply copied and modified from one of my earliest posts this year. i'd written it because i thought the new environment pleased me. well, maybe finally, i can really open up to people. i thought i could cast my introverted self aside and write my thoughts as plainly as i'd like to say them. but some things are often easier said than done.

the year's turmoil greatly thinned out what i'm willing to tell the world. slowly, i'm getting uncomfortable with putting my life up on display. and when it becomes imperative to write every few days, blogging becomes a chore. that's one reason why there was a break in my blogging routine two years back. but that doesn't mean i'm going to stop correspondence. but i'll probably limit it to my thoughts and snippets of what's going on in my life (:

that's because blogging is not without its advantages. and i'm not going to let go of them so soon (: firstly, we need to be responsible for what we publish. so blogging allows me to think twice and analyse situations carefully before putting it online for public scrutiny. very often, there is a vast difference between what we really see and what we perceive ourselves to see. by writing down the mere facts before blemishing it with our biased opinions, we can to put away our prejudice and relive the situation, through another person's untainted lens. it's not a bad idea, and sometimes, you really wanna slap yourself stupid for being so biased (:

whatever little comfort it offers, i'm glad that it's this one thing that hasn't seemed to change. the silly optimism and annoyingly logical.

---

"everyone's changing, i stay the same; i'm
a solo cello, outside the chorus"

xinying ploughed through her empty list at 4:31 pm

Tried to take a picture; Of love
I wanna fill this new frame; But it's Empty

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xinying; cxy; yvette; just the crazy girl
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